Friends-ception

I have a group of friends, who each of them have their own group of friends, and idk how to make friends with them, so fuck. Haha, it's awkward to talk to them, and my friends now just hang out with their own friends more, and me hanging out with my Malay friends all, make me feel like a sore thumb cos they normally talk in Malay to each other, I learnt some words but I cant sense the belonging feeling still, so... Idk I think I lost my friends alr, or on the verge, so fuck. Haha

Where you all go?

Really? One of our cell mate is getting ready to be baptized today, and you all are just at dte, just to watch a stupid movie?! Some may have valid reason, like parents don't allow them to go out, but you all can go out and you chose a stupid movie out of the your own cell mate baptism? Dafuq man, it's like having your own clique and coming to church just to have your own gathering amoung yourselves...

sorry:/

I just want you to be happy and cheered up, if I can't do and someone else can, I rather you to be happy, I mean if you stay and not be happy,I rather you to be happy, I dont know why but I think I'm in love with you, I mean i told you I like you but I never told you I love you, cos idk if you feel the same.. Im sorry for not talking to you in the past, you're always with your friends talking I just dk how to talk to you when you're alr so happy with them, I just feel glad you're happy, and smiling but I want you to be happy all the time.. I'm sorry I start trying to talk to you just recently Idk I have no guts ever to talk to you, I just dk how, cos I'm that shy.. Yeah many don't believe me cos I never shown that I shy but I am.. I dk why but when you let me otp with you I'm just so happy,even the letter you gave me I kept it close to me like a treasure.. but idk if you do this stuff just cos you pity me or something.. I dk.. Idk how to feel and think still after that thing, but my feelings for you didn't change idk why.. I want to be close to you but if you're happier without me I rather that, so yeah this me being vulnerable and yeah you're beautiful, I fell for you cos of your smile and your cheerfulness, I'm sorry if I made you feel lousy or I can't help you but I hope you smile and be happy cos that's the best thing you can do for yourself.. Ifyou like someone else alr, go for it, I believe he's gonna be better that me..Idk how to end it soo..yeah

ni hao

I thinking of making new blog, but more of rainbows and butterflies, haha kidding, but yeah less emo emo stuff and try more optimistic posts... Okay wait till I make a new blog first then we're talk more about it

You give love a bad name

ahh shucks, keep on blogging this few days, fuck. Haiz i feel worthless, still feel like a bother to others. damn fucked i swear, I still want try, but it gets harder and harder each time, you got so many guys ard you, I just for textin nia. Now i dont feel like texting ppl anw feel like im annoying. sigh fuck, my friend kena suspended indirectly my fault.. sorry uh, I wonder if i can help tmr:/

blog blog blog

Why everytime always so depressing, yeah probably cos I'm tired of it, actually at everything. I'm not mad disappointed or even sad, thats cos i alr think of whats the worst thing could happen, and it sucks that it usually goes that way.. But really tired, Idk why i cried in cell tho, it didn't change anything inside me. And I really dk how to go school tmr, like see everyone there, I'm not scared of them, just afraid of the looks people will give me. Yeah, fuck. Monday's gonna be depressing. Damn shld stop cussing soon too.

"Happy" birhday

Yeah so, my birthday just past, and when there's birthdays theres bash.. and I could take bashes till they hit my face. Like fuck? They hit my face and I'm not suppose to retaliate? Somemore you say you use full force on me and all I got were bruises, haha so, I'm not scared to see you all cos I went through it once and I still okay. I won't agitate anyone on mon, gonna talk with those that asked what happen and stuff. and now, i try not to say anything on the comp about, but i know no one reads my blog so yeah just for me. Feel like a bother when mr singh keep scolding me when I kept quiet and say i forgot many things about it.. Cos like everythings so hazy after the shit happen, so i felt like a bother that they have to take care of, parents starts asking stupid question, mr singh is a good cher, but i really hated the noise back then but I just kept quiet. sigh came back some ppl tell me im stupid to fight back against them, i tried not to answer but i know, i will try, or die trying. I won't be like the rest whole just cower and let them beat at least put up a fight. gahh fuck it. sucha mess, monday is when its gets complicated. I wanna know i can get through it. Idk if ppl will help me or them but, yeah, i really dont give a fuck, my studies sucks, i feel empty, idk anything, idk how to feel or think alr, i just know, something will change.