please stay

I know I stop posting posts here for a long time, well that's cos I realize no one cares. It hard to accept that, thats why I didn't tell anyone about how i  am for a while. I lied to my leader saying im just tired from my camp. and he ask me to go home rest, I said nahh i lazy, but i knew that once im alone in my room. all the thoughts come back to haunt me, and soon i realize i wasn't good enough, not for anyone or anything. I can't give up  though. But I don't feel like continuing... im not asking for pity or anything.. im just letting out some piece of my mind