shucks

yeah fell sick today, so did nothing today at all.. yesterday my friend ask me why i havent gone to help out for a long time, guess i'm tired frm school and stuff, just needed that day off.. yeah cried in cell worship, just felt like im in a mess, meaningless and tired. yeah they tried to comfort me but i just brush them aside.. kinda a jerk to them.stupid lol so had a fun bbq needed to manipulate aisyah to PRP and distracting her, so did a dance dare lots of stupid stuff haha yeah bad and good day.. guess it had been hard for you, being sick and every week going there, i only can support you, so jyjy :)

what...

Hmmm past few days, i feel messed up, I don't know whats wrong with me tho.. I just start doubting everything, yeah even people, even though I don't show it. Yeah, to me, people care because they don't want another episode what happen, they don't care about me.. yeah pretty selfish for me to say that, but no one reads my blogs so, i dont think this will affect anyone. No one cares, that's the sad truth.. I know how it feels when you're at your lowest thats why I kept my company to those who are down... It's ironic that, we want to be left alone yet need company.

Had fever today, slept for awhile in recess. yeah k, so yeah what a nice day i had, over thinking and negativity kills me inside, at least I braced for the worst before it happen.. yeah

Am I that fucking disgusting?

I can feel it, how everyone just treats me like I'm a fucking disease.. I can see it in school, home and friends.. Just tell me to leave you alone I will, for school teachers you fucking bear it for another 2 years.. cos i want to study and learn, no matter what kind of looks you give me. My family, you just have to tell me you regretted having a son like me, I'll gladly leave. Since all of you hate me so much, I know whatever happens you guys won't fucking care.

Ni hao

HI, i'm gonna fail my chem ct tmr cos I didn't bother listening to fatimuas/z i forgot if s or z, haha cross my finger on physic tho.. Yeah just learnt how to post posts on blog with comp :O Hi isabel, gws :D haha thats all for you! sigh no phone for a month and so far no spare phone i feel so light without a weight in my pocket :O haha idk whether to be happy or sad for that D: oh well wish me luck that i can pass my physic and chem, faiz teach me tmr i hope :P

death

Hey, yeah I was thinking, just thinking, if I ever get cancer, I won't tell anyone, I won't go for treatment, I will live the Day to the fullest, and now, I think why don't I live it to it fullest now? I won't tell anyone I got it cos I would just be a bother to them, and before I die, I would write my death letter, I know my death would be a trouble to others, so a simple funeral would be good, last a day then you guys can get on with your life. Hey, don't mourn that I'm dead, rejoice, cos I would have lived my life. All the wrongs I have done to you, I ask you to forgive me and remember the times, all the good times we had together:) yeah thx bye.

Dad

Today sibei sian, wake up nia my father angry like sai, cos my sis's dog peed on the floor, cos no one brought it down to pee and shit. Well, we actually suppose to go church then he wanted to chase tw dog out, so I skipped church to bring it walk ard, then my mom told me to bring it to my aunts house which is near where I was._. I stayed there with the dog till 1, Vincent called my phone and woke me up when to go buy stuff for class farewell party, then went to play block catching near Loyang point, then went home Sleep, then woke up, from aftnn till evening he didn't come home, I'm afraid, I don't want to be like him, running off bec it's seems like troubles ahead, I really don't want to be like him, it's just wrong to be like him.. If the phrase is true, like father like son, I don't want to be his son._. yeah, that may be the reason why I try to be happy no matter how sad the situation is, I just know it can be better, why can't he?

sighpie

Well got scolded in assembly, stupid reason, but when that happens teachers will come and ask you, do you have no shame? Yeah i didn't reply her but I was thinking about it all the time, the only shame I have is when I see ppl just walking past someone who just need help, I mean only those shamelessness one will be not afraid to help and stand out, i rather be shamelessness and embrace the good and back side of it. Okay? So shame isn't really a bad thing to me now.. And an other matter, I really want to keep trying, just tell me you haven't given up on me yet okay?:) yeah that's all have fun with the rest of your weekends

Boo

Hello piggy :) reckon you're asleep now. So hey! (: just wanna say I'm sorry for ignoring you, I know you tried. I'm sorry, I'm shy, im me :/ I'm weird, heheh.. So yep, you can give up on me, I'm not gonna stop you. Just saying I'm sorry for ignoring you&everything. >< okay, have a great day tomorrow. Hope you don't get angry at me posting here too ): okay bye<3