It sucks that I can't pray anymore, it's so hard to know that God is always listening. I mean why would he want to listen to me, I can't pray alone, I always need people to be around for me to know that He's there. All the unsaid words seem to be meant for people instead for God and I really hate that.

You know the feeling like "I wanna be productive and do something I like" or "I wanna try this". Sometimes, I see people being good at something, real or just shows, they had passion to do what they do. I always wanted that, and I know I'm lazy. But I know when I really wanna do it, I won't be lazy, thats why I'm waiting to find what I really want to do. People will say,"Oh, why don't you start finding it now instead of lazing around?" I guess its because I lost the inspiration and motivation to try. Now its the exam period and yet, I'm here using my comp. Hais, I wonder if I could get back my motivation soon. uh wellss